apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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