i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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