Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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