a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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