therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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