My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
