I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
