nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
