Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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