Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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