How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just pee around me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
