i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
