sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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