Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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