What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
