I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
