I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
