i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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