She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
