haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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