the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
