ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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