I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
