i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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