you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
