from now on my penis is your penis
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
