The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
