when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I stole a fireplace last night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
