i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize