barbara walters just said penis...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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