it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
