We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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