I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Randomize
