i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
