woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
