My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
