Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.

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  (703): in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner. http://tfl.nu/1ds9
  Replies (15) Good night (749) Bad night (896)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted

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  (267): so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted http://tfl.nu/13lv
  Replies (21) Good night (5197) Bad night (882)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...

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  (404): i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with... http://tfl.nu/j0qq
  Replies (27) Good night (3962) Bad night (928)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.

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  (724): He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober. http://tfl.nu/f1xw
  Replies (6) Good night (933) Bad night (1984)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?

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  (724): My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's? http://tfl.nu/cp3t
  Replies (14) Good night (2652) Bad night (757)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.

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  (940): you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can. http://tfl.nu/3ex5
  Replies (7) Good night (960) Bad night (1045)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor

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  (406): Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor http://tfl.nu/fbq6
  Replies (10) Good night (1883) Bad night (610)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.

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  (857): Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works. http://tfl.nu/hgbu
  Replies (5) Good night (2320) Bad night (1083)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.

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  (920): You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands. http://tfl.nu/ucsy
  Replies (9) Good night (426) Bad night (1114)
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  (510): View more from California

  Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?

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  (510): Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you? http://tfl.nu/34q2
  Replies (4) Good night (651) Bad night (892)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"

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  (978): maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk" http://tfl.nu/jf8r
  Replies (4) Good night (408) Bad night (504)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.

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  (215): i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass. http://tfl.nu/9tw7
  Replies (7) Good night (738) Bad night (363)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Can you bring me the toilet please

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  (802): Can you bring me the toilet please http://tfl.nu/af5u
  Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (503)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!

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  (573): You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall! http://tfl.nu/2nbi
  Replies (6) Good night (307) Bad night (328)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.

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  (304): This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid. http://tfl.nu/as8m
  Replies (3) Good night (412) Bad night (121)

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