omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day