Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
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He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?