He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.