My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
