Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
even my farts smell like vagina
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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