I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
