Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
