even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She's the barista slut.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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