peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
