I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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