your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
