Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
