I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
