omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
