the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
