My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am spending my child support on dildos
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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