Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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