You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
