i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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