Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
