and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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