You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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