you traded sex for a burrito?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
