I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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