it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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