i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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