He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
