I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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