he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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