Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I yelled at your uterus for you.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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