walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So vagazzling was a success
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
