What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
