It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
