I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
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he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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